HOT TO GET RID OF HOT TEMPEREDNESS

During my teenage years and in my early twenties, I realized I always get infuriated at the slightest provocation which would result in unleashing my anger at an object or person I thought is the cause of my rage. In extreme cases, I would even direct my action to someone who is never related to the cause of my anger. But that is all in a bid to calm my system down; because like a bullet that has lost patience in its chambers, I would be emotionally restless until I penetrate the body in a very excruciating and retaliating manner. The worst thing there is that every action I take under the influence of hot-temperedness would always result in regrets and blames upon myself. But even at that, the hormones, once released, would continue to push me until I am done with my actions. As most people with hot-temperedness would always do, I boasted with the attitude, thinking it’s part of an adorable personality, not knowing it’s a disease I needed to seek for its cure. No sooner did I realize this than I started the process of curing myself from the ailment. Here are six things I did and always do to liberate myself from the chains of hot-temperedness.

•           Take Time to Judge the Actions of People
  The most common things about people with attitudes of hot temperedness is hasty conclusion; their acquired trait of drawing conclusions on issues and actions of people prematurely even before the action is completed. Such speedy conclusion is not always to their favor. Hence, their hot-tempered hormone is built up and they start to rage in excess anger. The uncontrollable urge to strike, kick or blow would start accumulating and before a tick of the seconds’ hand, things have damaged beyond control.
  If you want to get rid of hot temperedness, form the habit of taking your time to judge people’s actions. In your patience, you will definitely understand them better and the hormone of hot temperedness, even though it may have built up, would start receding.
  
  
  •        Walk Away From the Scene 
    
    
    
  If you want to avoid being burnt by a wild fire, you don’t stay within the scene. You trip away from it, keeping a distance from its source until it has dwindled. If you cannot withstand the fire in the kitchen, walk out of it.  Those who cannot control the impulse resulting from hot-temperedness only have the option of walking away when anything that would cause them lose their temper arises. Staying at the source of the rage would continue to hype your anger and the effect would be regrettably detrimental. When I cannot control my anger, I walk away from the source. That is the rule!
  
  
  •         Understanding is a Necessity
    
    
    
    One significant characteristic of hot tempered people is their poor interpersonal relationship. Even the very few who have good relationship with people have the tendency to bridge such relationship through constant misunderstanding-which always comes from their part. A girl of nine years old was holding two apples in both hands. And a teenage girl begged her for one of the apples. Immediately, the baby girl took a bite from one of the apples, and without further ado, took another bite from the second apple. The teenage girl, stupefied and almost at the verge of getting infuriated over the girl’s action, asked her why she took a bite from both and nearly concluded she does not want to give her one of the apples. The baby girl, while handling over one of the apples to her, said “ I just wanted to taste and know which of the apples is sweeter, take this one –it’s sweeter than this” This got the teenage girl dumbfounded, and from that day, she learned to have patience on people’s actions before making a hasty and incomplete judgment. Learn how to create good interpersonal relationship with people, don’t misunderstand people’s actions. Wait till they are done before you draw your conclusion and reactions.
   
  •   Extinguish the Fire
  
  
  
      Most relationships, friendships and marriages abruptly come to an end because one party sets the union on fire and the other party would help blow the fire out of proportion and into uncontrollable expansion, thereby consuming  both of them. This is why many marriages shatter months and few years after the union because either or both parties do not know how to manage the “Fire” in their union whenever it develops. The fire could come from the running mouth of the lady, or from the shouting voices of the man. But whoever is the source, the best way to extinguish it is to speak less at that moment while using gentle and kind words if at all you must speak. Even the bible said it: a gentle and kind word takes away wrath. As a hot-tempered person, forming the habit of using such words would not only enhance your personal relationship with people but would also greatly control your anger in times of fire.
  
  
•          Think Before you Act
  
  
  
  A wise man would always think of the consequences of his action before he acts or reacts. Personally, what helps me control my temper most times is when I think of the consequences of any action I may wish to take. Once I’m able to preview the consequences, I would always ask myself, “do these consequences actually worth the action? Would I be able to stay with the consequences even if I take the action?” The answer would always make me put back my sword into its sheath and embrace peace, because the best place to maintain peace is on a round table of dialogue and not in a battle field. That is maturity.  I hate blaming myself on issues I could earlier control. So instead of letting my temper take over me, I simply ignore and hold myself back.
  A married man once lamented,   

  "I don’t know what comes over me. The moment my wife starts nagging at me, the impulse to pounce on her would always come and I can never control it. My next action would always end up in putting her on a hospital bed where I would ask for forgiveness"

  Then I replied, “someday your action would end up in putting her in a coffin and you would never have an opportunity to ask for forgiveness any longer” 
  Think of the consequences before you act, then watch how effectively you would always control your hot temperedness.
  
  
  •      Swallow your Pride
    
    
    
  There is an established correlation between pride and hot temperdness. According to the result of their research, people who naturally have pride have greater tendency to feel offended more quickly than normal proud-free persons. This is absolutely true considering the fact that proud persons always judge issues to their own favour as they  never want to take chances of being humiliated.  Always form the habit of swallowing your pride, even when you are the one offended. With such attitudes, you have taken the exit door out of hot-temperedness.
    Article written by Emmanuel Chukwuemeka Eminent Agbo
  
  A Motivational Speaker, a Creative Writer, a Blogger and a Digital Marketer
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